adoption-competent therapy
because adoption is a complex, lifelong journey
Adoption shapes the way we understand ourselves, our relationships, and where we feel we belong. While some people recognize that impact early on, others may not realize how deeply adoption has influenced their life until much later. Patterns in relationships, questions about identity, feelings of loss or disconnection, struggles with trust, or a persistent sense of not fully belonging often have many contributing factors, but adoption is often an important piece of the story that is often overlooked.
There is no single adoption experience. Some adoptees feel connected to their adoption story, while others carry questions, grief, anger, confusion, or experiences that feel difficult to put into words. Many experience a combination of emotions that shift over time. Whatever your experience has been, you don't need to justify it or fit it into someone else's version of what adoption is supposed to look like.
As an adoptee and therapist, I understand how adoption influences identity, relationships, attachment, self-worth, family dynamics, and the way we move through the world. Adoption-competent therapy provides a space to explore those experiences honestly, make sense of what they mean for you, and talk about them with someone who understands the complexities of adoption.
how is it different?
Adoption-competent therapy recognizes that adoption is not just background information. It is often an important part of a person's story that deserves thoughtful exploration rather than assumptions or oversimplified explanations.
Many adoptees have experienced well-intentioned comments that unintentionally minimize their experiences, focus primarily on gratitude, or overlook the losses and complexities that can exist alongside adoption. Adoption-competent therapy creates space for conversations that might not feel understood elsewhere, allowing adoptees and their families to explore their experiences without feeling dismissed, judged, or expected to feel a certain way.
Your adoption story is unique. Therapy should reflect that.
from my story to yours
As an adoptee, I know that adoption is a lifelong journey. While I have always known I was adopted, my understanding of how adoption has shaped different parts of my life continues to evolve. Some impacts were obvious while others did not become clear until much later. Even now, as life changes, relationships evolve, and new experiences emerge, I continue to learn, reflect, and uncover new ways adoption has influenced my experiences and the way I move through the world.
While my adoption story is unique to me, I understand that every adoptee's experience is different. What my lived experience does provide is a personal understanding of how complex adoption can be and how difficult it can feel to talk about with people who do not fully understand its nuances.
Combined with specialized training and years of experience working with adoptees and adoptive families, that lived experience allows me to approach this work with both professional knowledge and personal understanding. My goal is to create a space where you can explore your story openly, ask difficult questions, and make sense of your experiences without feeling like you have to explain, defend, or justify them.
common adoption questions
-
absolutely! it’s recommended to tell your child, and the earlier, the better. adoption is an important part of their identity, and being open about it helps create a foundation of trust. adoption-competent therapy can guide you on how to approach these conversations, ensuring they are age-appropriate and that the child feels secure and loved throughout the process. the goal is to foster positive, open communication and relationships with adoption as part of the story.
-
disciplining an adopted child requires a focus on building security and predictability rather than relying on punitive methods like time-outs. because adopted children have experienced attachment disruptions, trauma, or instability before being adopted, creating a structured environment with clear expectations and consistent routines can be more effective. adoption-competent therapy can help you understand your child’s emotional needs and guide you in using positive discipline strategies that emphasize connection, communication, and emotional regulation to help them feel safe and supported.
-
adoption-competent therapy is suitable for individuals of all ages, from young children to adults. for younger children, therapy may involve play therapy or family sessions to help them express their feelings. teens and adults can explore more complex issues like identity, grief, and attachment. since each stage of life presents different adoption-related challenges, therapy can be tailored to meet the specific needs of the individual or family.
-
although a child may not consciously remember the events surrounding their adoption, early separation can still impact their emotional development and attachment. pre-verbal trauma or implicit memories may influence their sense of self, attachment patterns, and emotional responses. therapy can help address these early experiences, support identity development, and provide tools to navigate any feelings of loss, confusion, or grief that may arise as the child grows.
-
addressing racial and cultural differences in adoption is essential for fostering a healthy sense of identity and belonging. it’s important to create an environment where your child feels proud of their cultural background and can explore it openly. this includes openly discussing race, ethnicity, and cultural heritage in an age-appropriate way. adoption-competent therapy can provide support in understanding how to navigate these conversations, helping parents engage in open dialogue while also addressing any challenges that arise related to cultural differences. it’s about fostering an inclusive, respectful space where your child’s identity is fully recognized and valued.